Day 18 - The Teddy Bear Tea (STOP, LOOK & LISTEN)

Last week, our school had their first annual Teddy Bear Tea. My daughter was looking forward to attending her first Teddy Bear Tea and I was looking for a miracle. My daughter had been sick a few days just before the Tea and I was starting to get sick with a pretty nasty cough. I got up on the morning of the Tea and taught Religious Education class. It was during the class that I first began coughing. The day before, I had spent most of my time getting ready for the Tea. Getting my hair done, buying a dress, getting nails done..all that "important stuff". Instead of resting up, I ran myself ragged looking for everything I needed to attend the Teddy Bear Tea. I was go, go, go, instead of STOP and REST mode.

On the day of the Tea, I was tired and didn't feel so good. My daughter was starting to get better, but still kept coughing. I felt miserable and had secretly hoped for an unexpected snow storm in Southern California, so that the event would be cancelled and rescheduled for another day (yes, it is possible for us to get snow in Southern California. I think it happened before..in the early 1900s?). Anyway, we were getting down to the wire. I showered, I even blew dry my hair for the special occassion and had taken a delicious dose of cough medicine...after all, one of the mom's at our school had shared her special secret with me..if you want your kids in school, just give them medicine to mask the symptoms. So,take some cough medicine and just go to the Tea!

In 30 minutes, we had to leave for the Tea. I asked my daughter how badly she wanted to go the Teddy Bear Tea. She looked at me and then she looked at her dad and asked if we could have the Teddy Bear Tea at our house. My husband went to the store and bought all sorts of cheeses, crackers and deserts. He washed my daughter's Barbie tea set and set the table with our fancy napkins, glassware and cutlery.

A few minutes later, we sat down to a nice Tea...all five of us, wait, 9, if you count everybody's teddy. We ate, we talked about school, we played a dancing game on the wii, we played board games and foosball too. At the end of the day, the kids went to bed and hubby and I spent some time talking about the events of the day. We realized that all our daughter had wanted out of this day was to spend time with the family. She wanted us to play with her..and this was worth more than going to a Teddy Bear tea party with her friends.

We had been so busy running on empty and always on the GO as a family, that we didn't STOP, LOOK and LISTEN so that we could live life in the present.

My RAK to you.

Notes from the LA Congress that I attended a couple of weeks ago. Terry Hershey's: STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.

May you live your day always mindful and joyful of living it in the present.
Christina :-)

Session #4 – Terry Hershey – Stop, Look and Listen
Comedy introduction.
We take ourselves too seriously.
Life tells us to be faster, newer… yet we’re exhausted, tuckered, out of gas, drained, and running on empty. Life is difficult and we’re buying into it.
Ex. Dad how much $ to you make. Dad tells child, there are certain things you don’t talk about. And one of them is $. Dad apologizes to child. Daddy makes $50 hr. at work. Child..can I borrow $10. Dad says child is being rude again. Tell me why you need $10. Child gives $40 from piggy bank and w/borrowed $10, child wants to buy and hour of his time.
Life is predicated with us being important, busy or hurried.
Story: Westerners being kicked out of Republic of China. They can only take 200 pounds. What should we take. Books, equipment, pics, mementos, etc. Get to check out border where they are supposed to be deported. Guard asks, Did you weigh the children?
We lost sight of what was human, real and our heart. We get weighed down with stuff.
Wisdom from Elementary Crossing Guard: Stop, Look & Listen.
People Ask: What do you do? How much do you make?
Not what is your passion, what’s in your heart.
My life is all about where I need to be bigger, or what do I need to do to plump up my resume. All the stuff I need.
Not gossip. It’s called prayer concern.
Why are people addicted to those messages? Addicted to Gossip.
We see symptoms, but use Western technology to solve problems. We are stressed and frazzled, so we’ll go to a seminar on distressing. Or we’ll buy a book on living a balanced life. Or get an app on our iPhone. Balance is highly overrated. They are anal-retentive people.
Stop…Look…Listen.
Why Stop?
When God said to Moses. Take off your shoes. God said it because he wanted Moses to touch his feet on the dirt. We have a phrase. It’s called being grounded. Want to STOP.
Story: Japanese person pouring tea. American said, “ I could have texted you, this is a waste of time.” Japanese Zen master keeps pouring tea. It over flows. American says the cup is full. You can stop pouring now. Zen master says, “that cup is just like your life. You came to me for wisdom, but your cup is already full. So there is no space for wisdom.”
Spirituality is about subtracting, not addition.
Story: Location: A College. Subject: Someone needs directions. Everyone was helpful to tell where the building is located. 2 construction workers pass. And walk between 2 people (asking for help). For 2-3 sec., they replaced person who was lost with another person…or a different gender. Different clothes. Only 50% realized that it was a different person.
If life is about productivity..newer..better..than LIFE IS NEVER WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW.
STOP
Watch with no hands, just the word, NOW.
To do lists. Some people write things down, even if they already did it. Just to cross it off.
Deadline means time to get started.  for some people
Js vs Ps. J= Just do it! P= Procrastinators
If God was a P, God played Day 1-6 and on Day 7, God pulled an all-nighter.
If God was a J, God would have a to-do list and check things off as he finished doing it.
Performing tests on people. Do some have compassion and others don’t?
Group Study:
People were asked to go to a presentation:
Group A: Were told it started 30 min. ago.
Group B: Were told it starts in 5 min.
Group C: Were told it’s going to start in 1 hr.
Group of people had to be at the presentation at a certain place and a certain time. On the way to the presentation, there was a guy who needed medical care.
Which Personality type is going to be compassionate b/c if they know, they can train it.
Compassion had nothing to do with personality.
The ones who stopped to give medical care to the guy were the ones who had an 1 hr. before presentation.
As long as we’re in a hurry, Ethics becomes a luxury.
Stopping gives us the permission to create space for _______________________________.
We want to STOP, but we want to be productive while we’re stopping. Productive stopping.
STOP. The culture says otherwise.
Talk fast b/c we’re in a hurry.
Hurry is linked to public opinion. No wonder we can’t stop. A lot of things make us angrier than we used to be. Then we end up getting angry at the person that we’re not even mad at.
Story: UPS. I don’t want to be Christian for the next 15 min. Went to front desk and gave them piece of my mind. (Delivered boxes to car, charged $300.) Wristband – Keep Jesus in your heart. Cussing UPS guy out until I realized what was on my wrist and I covered it up.
When we are in a hurry, we forget who we are. We are not in our own skin.
Story: Jesus said no one can serve 2 masters. No one can serve God and Man ($,things, etc.) Next verse, therefore, (what is it there for?) do not worry. When we worry, mind is somewhere else. As long as I worry, I am in the past or future. Not the present. You need to STOP.
If people were exposed to beauty, would they stop and celebrate it? Kid opens violin case (3 million dollar violin – plays Mozart, Joshua Belle (most known violinist), he is playing in high traffic area.
2,000 people pass, only 6 stop (4 were children) to watch him play. The night before, he was playing at a sold out concert.
When I stop and make space, I see.
Story: Bumper to Bumper traffic. Know you’re going to spend time stuck in traffic. If you let someone in, is it really going to change the amount of time you’re in traffic. By how long?
The Sacrament of the present moment.
STOP and LOOK.
List makers:
When you’re walking out there. Stop in the crowd and just say LOOK. Everybody LOOK.
When the host is elevated. Maybe that’s what we should all be saying. LOOK. Make that a part of our liturgy. Not only here for mass, but practicing the sacrament of the present moment.
If we keep saying LOOK. They may even clear the way for us in the future ;-).
Story: Born in Colon. Little self-esteem in a town called Colon. The assoc. of regular Baptist in colon. 4 H club – colon ever ready.
I don’t know what I am, except a CHILD of GOD!
As long as I’m in a hurry and I don’t stop. If I don’t stop, I can’t look. The I see only what I want to see.
Story: A difficult kid in school (1930s). There were no labels. Like ADHD, etc. Jillian is a difficult child. Calls parents to meeting. You think you’ve done something wrong. Feeling like you’re being measured (?). School counselor talks to parents. Jillian left alone. Play classical music. Jillian is dancing around the room, no longer sitting in her hands. Said to parents. Your daughter is not troubled, your daughter is a dancer. As long as I assume that my identity is on how much faster, what I need to do, etc. my life will be predicated on those labels.
You are the light of the world. God didn’t say you have to make the light. The light is already here. Let your light shine. (Doesn’t say. Let your light shine after therapy, or after light shining classes. In order to be a certified light shiner.)
Could have labeled Jillian.
Invited parents to STOP and LOOK. When that happens, you see someone bigger than the label that they’re given. You see someone better.
Jillian hated school. They are wired that way. After done with school, went to dance school, went to ballet school and then went to work for a dance company. Then hooked up with Andrew Lloyd Weber. Jillian L. choreographed Phantom of the Opera. At one time in her life, someone Stopped and Looked. They didn’t label her. Her life could have gone differently.
Anytime you label someone else, you dismiss them.
We see what we want to see.
STOP and LOOK.
God says. Inside of you is a dancer, inside of you is a light.
What are some of our favorite labels:
How many teachers give kids a chance when they put a label.
STOP. LOOK and LISTEN.
Drink it in and savor it.
Wallow in Grace.
Listen not only with your ear, but with your heart.
Story: Sister asks parents if she can speak alone with her baby brother.
I’m glad you’re here and I need your help. I know you just came from GOD and I was starting to forget what he looked like. Can you remind me?
God gives that child their own unique song. Mom given that task to learn that unique song of the baby in their belly. Mom’s supposed to teach the tribe and everyone sings the child’s song when he/she is born. When baby is teen, adult of done something wrong, they sing the child’s song.
The planet does not need more successful people, needs more story tellers, peace makers, healers, people who have moral courage to make planet more humane and just.
Do Less. Live More.
I’m pausing.
When you have one of those days. Just breathe and remember the wisdom of the school crossing guard. STOP LOOK AND LISTEN.
In the middle of the crazy. STOP. LOOK AND LISTEN. Jesus Is there.
Life is not about being tidy, but about being in the present.
Story: Friend is Pastor. Special needs home. Doesn’t know how long will have kids or what special needs are. Near Christmas, they did not have enough $ for food or presents for special need kids. At door, 3 men w/bandanas. They had groceries. 13 sacks of grocery. Out in curb, 1959 Cadillac. Wearing masks…getting away.
They wrote on the grocery bags: God’s desperados have been here. Some kids wanted to sleep with food. Don’t know who the 3 men where. I am one of those desperados. Because inside of you is a dancer and the light..when you STOP, LOOK and LISTEN, the light of Christ spills to everyone around you.
Do something for someone and don’t tell anyone about it. Because you know that labels don’t tell you who you are.
You can kill the desperado program by bringing a sign-up sheet.
Story: Frog and Toad – Toad looks sad..because he doesn’t get any mail. Frog decides to cheer Toad up by writing him a letter. Frog tells Snail to deliver the letter to Toad’s house. Frog keeps looking out of the window, each time he looks out, he notices that the snail was not there yet. Frog asks why do you keep looking out the window.
Frog tells Toad that he wrote him a letter. The contents of the letter: you are my friend. They were happy. 4 days later, the letter arrived.
Be a Frog and Toad to someone in my community..spill that light to a friend..see a dancer in them.