Day 16 - What do you mean the Easter Bunny is not real?

Last week, I was feeling a bit depressed. I had overheard some news that made me downright sad about things that I couldn't change and because of certain circumstances, just had to live with it for the next few years. It reminded me of the time that my cousin told me the Easter bunny wasn't real. We were in the back of my parent's mini-van, heading to the park, when she told me. I was devastated..sure I suspected it was kind of weird how the Easter bunny just lays these eggs with candy and stickers inside..but somewhere deep and I mean really, really, deep, I just wanted to believe the Easter bunny existed and he came to visit my house and others too, on Easter Day. Anyway..the news wasn't something detrimental to my health or the health of my family, but it was sad news to process, especially when it was about people I trusted to do the right thing.

Luckily, I was charged up for a weekend get away at a religious education conference with my friend, Tiffany. I was thrilled after taking a class on five essential strategies to a joyful life by Father Joe Kempf. It was a great lecture that changed my outlook on life and the little problem I was having handling some negative news.

For today's RAK, I would like to share the notes I took on his lecture. Hope the lecture helps with any part of life that is getting you down.

Until tomorrow, share a little RAK wherever you go.

Christina

Session #1: You want me to be good all day? - Father Joe Kempf

Five Essential Strategies for a Truly Joyful Life:

1.) What % of your happiness depends on your circumstances?
Some people are more grateful than others. Is it because they are more blessed? Of course not.

10 Lepers parable: All were equally healed, but only one came back to say thank you. Where do we put our focus? Grateful people are those that have focused on their blessings. The more we look for stuff to complain about, the more we’ll find. The more we look for stuff to be grateful for, the more we’ll find.

Scientists suggest that 10% of our happiness depends on circumstances. Most of it has to do with our ATTITUDE. The good and the bad in life don’t cancel each other out. Our life is imperfect, we suffer great pain. What being grateful does: We do not deny those things, but we see the blessings that are right there.

The first way to nurture ourselves and our children is by practicing the art of gratitude thinking. It will make our life more meaningful. Practice it! Intentional about being a grateful person. Ex. Spend the first 15 minutes being grateful for what you have…during the summer. At first, you’re thinking when are the 15 min. going to be up..after only 6 min., but by end of summer, 15 min. will fly by because you learned how to be grateful.

Ex. about a sister with a learning disability. They tried an activity. Everytime the sisters talked, the sister without the disability would ask what is one good thing that happened today. Sister could sense something shifting inside of her disabled sister..because her sister could always find at least 1 good thing inside of her. Anyone who struggles w/depression..ask them to find just one good thing. Have them write their blessing in a gratitude journal. Each day, write down 3 things that you’re grateful. Following day, 3 different things you are grateful for. We forget how blessed we are.

Okay to grieve losses, don’t want to deny them. Just try to be aware of being aware of the blessings of what this moment hold.

The key to happiness is the practice of gratitude, being grateful.

2. Why do you exist?

The first sign of civilization was compassion.
Remember that our lives are not all about us. Don’t stop taking care of yourself or enjoy your blessings.

The secret to a miserable life is trying to find what will make us happy.
Favorite definition of motherhood: the incredible risk of having ½ your heart walk outside your body for the rest of your life. We all have a piece of a mother’s heart. Our lives are not all about us. Ex: your life is all about you – bombarded with advertisements. Must have special place for vulnerable, broken and poor. How you treat the poor?

You need to have a place in your heart for others.
We can’t get to heaven without a letter of recommendation from the poor.

The second way to a joyful life is to know that life is not all about us.
What’s the most important word of all: You.
Most important phrase: All of Us!
The way to make yourself miserable is to think that your life is all about you.
Essential discipline to a more joyful life – life is not about us.

3.) Who has hurt you?
Help me to forgive.
Ex. Drunk Driving accident that took life of daughter. I will have anger, but I will not have hatred. If I have hatred in my heart, the senseless act of violence has another victim. Determines the kind of person we are. With God’s help, we forgive.

To forgive does not mean to act as if no wrong has been done, or continue to stay in an abusive situation,. It is w/grace of God to pray for healing and peace, free from bitterness and hatred and not seek revenge.

To not forgive, causes untold damage. Why should one person’s senseless act claim another victim.

Although father misses his son terribly. Father knew what he had to do, to help set himself and the (drunk driver) person free. Father forgave the drunk driver.

The third habit that leads to meaningful and joyful life is to forgive.
Ex. Big Al (character in Father Kempf’s book) wants to clobber mean person, but Jesus wants you to forgive. Big Al idea, first clobber then forgive. Ask God to help you forgive.

4.) What do you worry about these days?

I know that you are with me, you will never go away. From morning to night, people are troubled. We worry. Ex. Pay mortgage, sound of a car that is different, conversation doesn’t go well.

Jesus says..do not worry. Do not worry about your life, what you will eat, what you will wear. Do not worry about it, yourself. Trust that God would be there for him, no matter how hard the time. To worry, robs us of life. Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its trials, it simply empties the day of its job. Worry has this corrosive power that eats at our relationships. Just love right now, it’s all we have to do. We trust. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay. No matter what life holds, we can be okay. Because love can be with each of us every step of the way. Jesus is not saying don’t plan for the future. He is saying live now, love now! Don’t live in the past..just live in the now. When anxiety comes, we don’t stay there..all we have to do is to love God. It’s all we can do.

Ex. Emily went back to Earth for one day. Sees a lot of worry in people’s faces. She wants to tell her dad that she has only one day to stay, but she can’t. She has to live life, liked she lived it. She just wants to hold her mom’s face and love her. Before she leaves, she wants to have just one more look. Goodbye world..mom, dad, clocks, mamas sunflowers, sleeping and waking up. Poor Earth, you are too wonderful for anyone to realized you.

Jesus says don’t worry, just love now.
Big Al is worried, that Fr. Kempf worries too much. Jesus says whenever you start to worry, just love more. Don’t worry, love now.

The prayers are from 2 different books of prayers: my sister is annoying and you want me to be good all day. Ligouri.org. WeloveBig Al.com.

5.) On what does your happiness depend?

It depends on things such as health, getting my way political or economically, do I have a job, am I succeeding, if my life turning out as I planned. Does happiness depend on external circumstances, does it depend on what others do to you.
Going through life..almost don’t want to be too happy. Because we got used to complaining and being the victim. We are each responsible for our own joy. No one can take it from us, no matter what anyone chooses around us. We can be happy. We can choose joy. Pain..until confronted from a different perspective.

You tube video: sometimes world will knock you down hard. You get back up. Don’t give up when you fall..even if it takes 102 tries. If you give up, you’re not going to get up. We all face limits. You will get up and you will be strong.

The truth is that we are responsible for our own joy. Doesn’t have to depend on anyone around us. Happiness is ultimately a decision. Give free reign to unhappiness..that we can be happy no matter what, we can choose joy.
People die, faith tells us that God is forever. We all face discouragements (ravages of time with our bodies, can’t find a job, etc.)..nothing can take away dignity and joy. We can choose to give them away, but no one can take those away from us. Faith tells us that we can be happy.

Choose Joy for a meaningful life.

The power of Christ is within all of us. We can choose joy. God comes disguised in our lives. Faith asks us a simple question. Do you choose to be happy?

Practice Gratitude

Life not all about us.

Forgive.

Don’t worry, love now.

Choose Joy.

Day 15 - A RAK for me

Today was a good day! I felt like everywhere I went, there was a RAK for me. I saw my son perform with his singing group and it was great! The Directors were kind enough to give me credit for writing the script. All I did was share an idea and wrote down a script..but they expanded on it and the idea grew into this wonderful show that I was so blessed to be a part of. My son got over his stage fright and performed Why Can't We Be Friends and it was good. The whole audience got involved and it was one of those moments that you catch yourself and thank God for the wonderful experience your child will never forget...that really good moment when you're flying so high on happiness that nothing else matters.

Today was a good day because I was the guest speaker at a MOPS meeting and I received several compliments on my talk...moms were laughing, no babies were crying (just spitting up..but I don't believe that's a bad thing if you have a burp cloth under you :-) and it was good..really good. It was a good day and although I gave $ to the Japan Relief Efforts and Operation Rice bowl as my RAK..it really felt like today..that RAK was for me.

Until tomorrow, live out your day, being mindful of all the RAK that's all around you!

Day 14 - Psycho Driver....Tartar Sauce...Ah Fushigi and other fine respectable phrases and words.

Last week, I was driving my son to middle school, when out of the blue my daughter said, "mom, hey look, it's Psycho Driver." I looked over to my right and she was right...it was Psycho Driver. It was the same guy that was weaving in and out of traffic, driving on both lanes..mind you, there is a reason why there are big bold white lines on the street, two days ago. So..I may have accidentally called him a Psycho Driver. And, my kids may have accidentally overheard. Which proves my theory that selective hearing in young kids, teenagers and husbands is correct..because if I would have said something like, go take a shower or clean up your room, or your socks accidentally missed the laundry bin by 30 feet, I'm 100% positive that they wouldn't have heard me.

Anyway, I'm ashamed to admit it, but the first thought in my mind..was wow, she has a really good memory. The Second thought..hmm...did I do that? Did I have another bad mothering moment? We had a little talk about Psycho Driver, name calling and giving the benefit of the doubt until I heard Ah Fushigi from my oldest. I would have stopped the car, only traffic was moving and we were running a little late for me to get a primo spot at the Elementary School.

My daughter said..oohhh...and I said, oh no...because guess what happened about a month ago. I accidentally stubbed my toe while I was cleaning my house and instead of saying the F word (and I don't mean flowers, fun or face) I said..Ah Fushigi. Fushigi is this toy that my kids have been wanting forever. If you ever can't sleep at night, turn on the TV and you'll see an infomercial on why Fushigi is a great toy..as long as you don't drop it..like on your foot. Anyway, I had a talk with my son when he came back from school about how words can be hurtful depending on how and when we say them. And his response..of course..but mom, you say it, so I thought it was okay. He had a little smile at the end of the sentence, so I kinda knew what he was up to..but nevertheless..it was a teachable moment for all my kids and so far, it's been good.

So, for today's RAK, I decided that for all the injustice that is done in the world, let's say...driving on both lanes, rigging a fundraiser raffle or cutting in line, I was going to keep my negative words to myself. Give it a try and see if you can do this RAK for a whole day. I'm staying in my house all day so I can be successful. :-)

Day 13 - Water Changes, Chocolate and Dr. Seuss

I should be sleeping, but I'm not. You see..I gave up Chocolate for Lent and rather than preparing kindly, I've spent all day eating as much chocolate as I could eat without needing a brown paper bag. So..I have all this caffeine in me and I'm wide awake...thinking about whether I should spend the last minute eating some more chocolate or just letting it go. Oops..too late, it's midnight and Lent has officially started today.

So..since I'm awake, why not post about my latest RAK.

Today, I volunteered in my son's classroom and it was awesome!!!! I got an e-mail from a friend who asked me if I wanted to come over and help her teach an art lesson on Dr. Seuss and watercolors. I know nothing about art, but I knew a thing or two about set-up, clean-up and changing the water when it got all dark and cloudy. It was really cool to see the kids excited about art and I was happy to be a part of their excitement. My son is moving on to 6th grade next year, so I won't get any or very many (I'm trying to keep positive here) opportunities to volunteer in his classroom or meet his classmates. I had a blast changing water and providing positive feedback on their artwork. If I could change anything about volunteering today, I probably would have added some lunges in between the water changes. After eating so much chocolate, I'm 100% positive my pants are not going to fit tomorrow.

Until tomorrow, find a little bit of time to volunteer in your kid's classroom. That saying kids grow up way too fast is soooo true!

Day 12 - Selective Hearing

I think my kids might be on to something...I really do. You know how many times I've said something that I probably shouldn't have said...multiply any random single number with 1,000,000..and you have the right answer. If everybody had selective hearing at just the right time..I think the world would be a better place. For instance, this morning, somebody told me to wake up. It's someone who has a pretty important high-stress job (not my family, thank goodness) and had just heard another mom make a comment about her whistle. If I could turn back time, I would have seriously pointed to the other mom and said, it wasn't me. Regardless, I was flicking off a bug that my daughter had just found on her shirt. I didn't want her to freak out, so I kind of stood there, in the safe zone, while I flicked off the bug. The crossing guard got mad at me and told me to wake up. I was just a mili second late from when she motioned us to cross...really, it wasn't that long, but that comment kind of got me upset. I thought of all the other comments she could have used to get us going...like..it's time to cross, good morning or why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the Starbucks on the other side. But..she chose to say wake up instead. I know for a fact that I wasn't sleeping, you got to be awake to drive to school..but it got me thinking about all the other 1,000,000+ random times that I said something that I probably shouldn't have said. So..for my RAK, I decided to have selective hearing. If I heard something mean or hurtful from anybody today, I decided to just ignore it, just like my kids do when I tell them it's time to get ready for bed or set the table for dinner. Give it a try..if someone has said something just a little bit hurtful, pretend to have selective hearing and ignore it. If it happens again, well..then, it might just be time to have a little talk with that person to resolve the problem.